t'was the night before christmas

eff i'm feeling pretty heavy right now. i'm full from food but thats not whats weighing me down. it's the fam... my mom had a long talk with my older brother about the patterns in his life and how this one is the same. she said i was old enough to hear this. she also said after that i have to deal with way more shit than he did.... and that i got the shorter end of the stick.

listening to it, every word i already knew but i refused to bring it to light, now it being unwrapped and placed before me. and it hurts,

he took it ok, and he seemed appreciative, which is i guess one upside to it.

because i can't do anything about it, he's impossible. and all i get is a sad feeling.
i want to go up to him, and help, give him a better future, make him passionate about something, give him the strength to give back, gurantee him happiness, make him quit his bad habits, make him the best person he can be, give him the perfect life, tell him theres more to life than this. but he's in another world. i don't even know how to communicate to the other side and that frustrates me to tears.

merry christmas everyone. best wishes to you and yours.