Wong Kar-Wai

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day to day

this life

our way 

life is hard

will push 

and shove

only guarantee 

is death

it will hurt

shows no mercy

excruciatingly

frustrating at times

not fair

but all we get

is one life

good luck

make it count

dreams

around this time last year, I stopped dreaming. Or I couldn't remember my dreams.

those abstract pieces of my psyche that took form in the night. I lost that priviledge and at the time I didn't put too much thought into it. 

dreams for me were on and off. sometimes several sequences a sitting or I simply woke up and found myself in my bed. 

but these last couple of weeks my dreams came back. almost every night I'd be taken places near and far. and now I realize how much I missed them. 

wherever my dreams went doesn't matter, as long as they're back now.

figured this was something worth mentioning.

how did I almost forget?

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

- Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

tired

I can't seem to interact with people lately. people really tire me out. I can't even seem to talk to the one person i'm obliged to.

the upside is its a great mentality to chase paper.

what happened to family?

Makes me really wonder if its just how I've been raised or todays watered down term of the word family. or even if its just me that takes the word too close to heart. From what I see it's all gone down the drain. Sick of this closed mindedness in the wrong direction followed by retaliation in form of put downs. Honestly I have no idea what to do and it frustrates me.

I need a talk with my brother. any brother. sigh.

"close your mind, close your eyes, see with your heart"

.

"I hate a song that makes you think that you are not any good. I hate a song that makes you think that you are just born to lose. Bound to lose. No good to nobody. No good for nothing. Because you are too old or too young or too fat or too slim too ugly or too this or too that. Songs that run you down or poke fun at you on account of your bad luck or hard traveling. I am out to fight those songs to my very last breath of air and my last drop of blood. I am out to sing songs that will prove to you that this is your world and that if it has hit you pretty hard and knocked you for a dozen loops, no matter what color, what size you are, how you are built, I am out to sing the songs that make you take pride in yourself and in your work. And the songs that I sing are made up for the most part by all sorts of folks just about like you. I could hire out to the other side, the big money side, and get several dollars every week just to quit singing my own kind of songs and to sing the kind that knock you down still farther and the ones that poke fun at you even more and the ones that make you think you've not any sense at all. But I decided a long time ago that I'd starve to death before I'd sing any such songs as that. The radio waves and your movies and your jukeboxes and your songbooks are already loaded down and running over with such no good songs as that anyhow." - Woody Guthrie

thanks nyle